In These Uncertain Times

Oh 2020! What a wild and crazy past few months it has been. There’s civil and racial unrest, conspiracy theories floating around, Covid 19 cases back on the rise, people throwing tantrums about masks and a multitude of other things. After four straight months at home, I figured I’d dust off the blog .
As much as we tried, we were not able to keep the chaos of 2020 from infiltrating our lives. I had to postpone my oophorectomy since it was technically elective, and nobody really wanted to be at the hospital during all that’s going on. Since I wasn’t going to have any procedures or a stay at the hospital , my youngest thought she’d take my place with a week long stay at the children’s hospital with what we thought was appendicitis. All is well, and though it was nerve wracking she handled it like the little warrior that she is. Then, I was officially “furloughed indefinitely” from my job. Got to appreciate the creative wording, I imagine it is supposed to lessen the blow. No big deal we only have two additional mouths to feed. Puppy mouths mind you, but still need feeding. (Yep we’re insane and got two dogs under a year old.) Our school district is allowing families to determine how their kids return for the school year, and I am torn. Most of me is confident they should stay home, and the rest of me has no idea what that looks like or how that’s going to work.
So here I am, I have some weighty decisions to make, I am currently out of work, no solid opportunities on the horizon, and I feel ill equipped, outnumbered, and a little uncertain. Surprisingly, I don’t feel overwhelmed. Maybe that is one of the positives from going through cancer, I’ve been trained to navigate uncertainty.
Don’t get me wrong I don’t like my current situation, and I am not comfortable, but I am not in a panic ( like I would normally be in this type of scenario). I have done some basic strategic planning and budget evaluations, but I feel oddly peaceful.
-I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Psalm 27:13 NKJ
As some of you may know I have in the last few years been pining for a farm. I passively do research on hobby farms and best practices for raising small animals and crops. A conversation with one of my friends reminded me of a farming practice I’d learned about.
A fallow; non-productive period that leaves essential elements in abundance. In an effort to let the land rest and rejuvenate a field will be tilled but not planted. You won’t see new growth necessarily and there will be no pretty blossoms, but important things like nutrient restoration are happening out of view. After a fallow period the field almost always yields a more abundant and healthy crop.
I am going to embrace this fallow season. There’s plenty to do behind the scenes, I am sure God has a long list. I am going to maximize this time home with my family while continuing to anticipate my future harvest.
Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. James 5:7 ESV
-As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience. Luke 8:15 ESV

Under Construction

Okay friends, I had a diep flap procedure done about a week ago.   If you have no idea what that is click the link.  In a nutshell, the surgeon cuts out a chunk of my stomach and uses it to make two breasts, then cinches up my stomach, slaps in some drains, and takes a lunch break. Easy peasy! (It was like a 6 ½ hour surgery)


I’m sorry I have no videos of hilarious rants while drugged up, apparently, I stay fairly coherent until I’m fully under.  I am not going to lie after fasting the night prior, when I was informed after my surgery that I couldn’t have any real food, I totally cried.

nenehungryfreaking hungry

Once again, my mom spent Mother’s Day caring for her grown child.  Y’all I am so lucky to have her. She swooped in and took care of everything.  Poor Yuri, I won’t be able to lift her for at least 6 weeks, so she is a little peeved with me.  I thankfully got to go home from the hospital on Mother’s Day, and could enjoy sharing the holiday with my family.

miss piggy surgery

With new lady lumps on my chest and a hip to hip suture, moving and walking are… interesting.  I can’t lie completely flat or stand straight up so I look a little like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.  After a few days of walking hunched over my back muscles were screaming for sanctuary.  I’ve got four drains hanging from me, drains are the worst. The. Worst. I am healing fine as far as I can tell.  I am already stir crazy and it is hard to be limited in my movements.

I can’t really get the full picture, since there is still swelling and lots of bandages.  Overall, I am pleased, I didn’t have a serious pooch so they’re probably the smallest they’ve ever been.  It’s strange that even after having breasts for half my life, it seems so odd to have them now.   I will have a follow up on Tuesday to see how everything is going and hopefully be cleared to do a little more.

P.S. Check out the new “Shop” tab.

(There are no before and after pictures, sorry to disappoint. I can’t have all my business out there on the internets.)