Tag: fight like a girl

Getting Some Things Off My Chest

flintnhoney

The big surgery is scheduled for November 4th so there has been a lot going on this week and there is a lot going on in this blog be warned.  I think I am less nervous about the whole surgery and anesthesia portion this time, because I’ve been wrapped up in trying to navigate the after, my days’ post-surgery being The Young and the Breastless.  I am still 100% okay with my choice to go all in or all off should I say.  Let’s be honest the girls take up a significant amount of my torso real estate, so it is going to be strange with them gone.  Are my kids going to shrink away when they come in for a comforting hug and are met with ribs? Not to mention my lack of chest is only going to be emphasized as my belly grows bigger.

Oh wait, some of you don’t know about that part. The title does imply I’ve got tea to spill.  I found out shortly after my post-op in August, that I am…. pregnant.  I’ll give you a minute to let that marinate.

oh-lort

I know you have questions so let me try and answer the most common ones.

  • How does this affect the whole cancer nonsense occurring?
    • Well, to be honest it is not ideal, I have estrogen and progestin positive cancer cells, so being pregnant I have basically created an all you can eat buffet for the cancer.
  • Is it safe to have surgery?
    • Yes.
  • Can you do chemo?
    • Yes, once I am in the 2nd trimester, there is specific protocol “safe” during pregnancy. Quotations because it’s chemo, and chemo is evil, but it’s what I’ve got to work with right now.
  • How far along are you?
    • 13 weeks.

Y’all when the doctor told me I was pregnant, I felt like that scene in Saving Private Ryan when the bomb goes off and Tom Hanks is walking around, and there is no sound for a whole five minutes of the movie.  Then I heard that heartbeat and saw that tell-tale bean shape moving around in the ultrasound wedge.  When I had to break the news to my parents, I felt like a teenage girl breaking the news to her parents.  They handled it well though, my dad took it like a champ and my mother was actually speechless for a short time.

I am not going to lie to you when I first got my diagnosis, I made sure to pray very specifically.  I often prayed for complete healing, life, and for God to help me be aware that He was working in me.  I also had been reading a book that focuses on Ephesians 3:20; “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,”

Now, I know God is all powerful and creator of all things, but I can’t help but think that He had himself a good little chuckle as He was knitting this little person in my womb.

I found a very helpful organization that connected me with a physician in New Jersey who has been researching the journeys of pregnant women and cancer for last several years. I got to talk to her on the phone and ask a ton of questions.  Hope for Two  also connected me with a sponsor, I now have a friend who had a very similar diagnosis and experience with finding out she was pregnant.  She is a survivor and her daughter is doing fantastic, so it is a blessing to have her to talk to.

When I started writing this blog, I worried about it getting old or boring talking about such a not fun topic.  Well, I think it’s fair to say that there should be no more concern that I can’t keep it interesting.   We’re going to keep on praying, just praying for two of us now. (Feel free to pray for a boy too, thanks.)  Much love and many blessings to you all out there!

phil-1-6

Bra Full of Dynamite

flintnhoney

 

 

Sorry it’s been a little while. On top of my own personal storm, Hurricane Matthew thought it was an appropriate time to visit my current home town.   We stayed around, and watched the nation’s oldest city get battered by wind and washed away by overflowing bays and oceans.  Fortunately, we are far enough inland that we only saw some strong winds and lots and lots of rain at our house along with a few stray roof shingles taking off.

Okay enough storm talk.  So as I revealed in my last blog the tumor and cancer was not as straight forward as I was first told.  Knowing that chemo was now going to be required and additional surgery, it became apparent that I needed to look into finding treatment closer to home.  I also needed to think about my surgery options.  It probably took me all of 45 minutes after my post-op appointment to decide I wanted the full on double mastectomy.

It is really the principal of the matter, if you come after the queen (me) you will be executed.  And so these traitors on my chest must go.  I did actually take time to think over this decision, based on my pathology report, I was looking at a right mastectomy anyway.  I also didn’t want to have to worry if the left one was a sleeper and was going to exact its revenge once I terminated its sister, and potentially have to go through another surgery at a later time.

queen-of-hearts

With my mind made up I began contacting and researching hospitals in my area and the metro area.  One hospital I contacted said it would be 3-5 business days to even process the appointment request, which is not really terrible I guess, but they then emailed me, well past 3-5 business days later and basically stated that they were going to have to actually contact my insurance company by phone to verify, and therefore could not schedule me until they had an opportunity to do that.  Uhm… under “reason for care” I put cancer, not a rash, not low back pain, but cancer.  I feel like maybe that’s the type of diagnosis that you get somebody on the phone the same day to do insurance verification for, just saying.  Needless to say, I will not be getting treatment there.

sloth-zootopia

The oncologist and staff I am working with now are a great group of people.  I felt really at ease with them, and they seem to be at the top of their game.   I prayed that I would have some kind of confirmation that I was in the right place before I met with them.  Not to mention I adore my nurse navigator, she is the person who is my go to for questions and support.  She stayed throughout my consultation and then at the end reviewed what the doctor had gone over with me and asked if I had any questions.  As she got ready to leave she hugged me and said, “Alright baby-girl, we’re going to take good care of you. You keep up that positive attitude and call me if you need anything”.   Now, this sentence is not really all that earth shattering, except that in my household my mom calls me “baby-girl” and when she addressed me that way, I felt the way you feel when you’ve traveled a long way to your parents’ house and you finally get inside and smell all the smells, and get to hug your parents’ necks.  It’s the little things, but God knows what his girl needs and when she needs it.

Things are going to start moving pretty quickly here in the next few weeks and I will try and do a better job of keeping everyone up to date.  Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement.  ‘til next time.