Getting Some Things Off My Chest

The big surgery is scheduled for November 4^th so there has been a lot going on this week and there is a lot going on in this blog be warned.  I think I am less nervous about the whole surgery and anesthesia portion this time, because I’ve been wrapped up in trying to navigate the after, my days’ post-surgery being The Young and the Breastless.  I am still 100% okay with my choice to go all in or all off should I say.  Let’s be honest the girls take up a significant amount of my torso real estate, so it is going to be strange with them gone.  Are my kids going to shrink away when they come in for a comforting hug and are met with ribs? Not to mention my lack of chest is only going to be emphasized as my belly grows bigger.

Oh wait, some of you don’t know about that part. The title does imply I’ve got tea to spill.  I found out shortly after my post-op in August, that I am…. pregnant.  I’ll give you a minute to let that marinate.

I know you have questions so let me try and answer the most common ones.

• How does this affect the whole cancer nonsense occurring?
  • Well, to be honest it is not ideal, I have estrogen and progestin positive cancer cells, so being pregnant I have basically created an all you can eat buffet for the cancer.
• Is it safe to have surgery?
  • Yes.
• Can you do chemo?
  • Yes, once I am in the 2^nd trimester, there is specific protocol “safe” during pregnancy. Quotations because it’s chemo, and chemo is evil, but it’s what I’ve got to work with right now.
• How far along are you?
  • 13 weeks.

Y’all when the doctor told me I was pregnant, I felt like that scene in Saving Private Ryan when the bomb goes off and Tom Hanks is walking around, and there is no sound for a whole five minutes of the movie.  Then I heard that heartbeat and saw that tell-tale bean shape moving around in the ultrasound wedge.  When I had to break the news to my parents, I felt like a teenage girl breaking the news to her parents.  They handled it well though, my dad took it like a champ and my mother was actually speechless for a short time.

I am not going to lie to you when I first got my diagnosis, I made sure to pray very specifically.  I often prayed for complete healing, life, and for God to help me be aware that He was working in me.  I also had been reading a book that focuses on Ephesians 3:20; ^“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,”

Now, I know God is all powerful and creator of all things, but I can’t help but think that He had himself a good little chuckle as He was knitting this little person in my womb.

I found a very helpful organization that connected me with a physician in New Jersey who has been researching the journeys of pregnant women and cancer for last several years. I got to talk to her on the phone and ask a ton of questions.  Hope for Two  also connected me with a sponsor, I now have a friend who had a very similar diagnosis and experience with finding out she was pregnant.  She is a survivor and her daughter is doing fantastic, so it is a blessing to have her to talk to.

When I started writing this blog, I worried about it getting old or boring talking about such a not fun topic.  Well, I think it’s fair to say that there should be no more concern that I can’t keep it interesting.   We’re going to keep on praying, just praying for two of us now. (Feel free to pray for a boy too, thanks.)  Much love and many blessings to you all out there!