Booby Trap

On June 20, 2016, I got a phone call from my Doctor, I know that she and I had a conversation, but what I most remember are the words “Invasive Ductal Carcinoma” .  I had a little knot the size of a tic-tac just underneath my armpit checked out via mammogram and biopsy the week prior.   I was cool and collected for the first 5 minutes or so after receiving the diagnosis, but after repeating it to my hubby and my mom, my overactive imagination started to get the best of me. (If I was cremated and they held a memorial service I hope my family doesn’t have a big 14 x 16 picture of me on an easel.)

On the outside I kept it together, on the inside I was…

I mean, “invasive” when have invasions ever been not a big deal?  All rational thinking was abandoned.  I worried about what stage of cancer I had, how much was our insurance going to cover.  Then I’d admonish myself for worrying because I believe in a God who is bigger. But a few minutes later something else would creep in.  My thoughts were everywhere from worrying about not having enough strength and energy for my kids if I was doing chemo, and  vain thoughts about the horror of having my little peanut head exposed for the world to see.  At that time I would have loved to have someone with my similar story to walk me through, tell me I wasn’t being ridiculous, and tell me how they got through it.

So,  the next morning, I simply told myself to have several seats and I busted out my Bible, well technically my tablet, and started reading, reading, reading.  What I didn’t read was anything on the internet about my diagnosis, the last thing I needed was too much information.  I came across a verse in Deuteronomy that just spoke to me,

” He made Khim ride on the heights of the land
    and fed Khim with the fruit of the fields.
He nourished Khim with honey from the rock,
    and with oil from the flinty crag,” Deuteronomy 32:13  

And yes, I insert my name in verses so I recognize that God’s word is for me.  This verse is just a reminder that God has been handling difficult situations for a very long time, if He can extract honey from a rock and oil from flint, I think  it is safe to say He can see me through this diagnosis.  Ladies and Gentlemen, at that moment the idea for Flint & Honey was born.

About a week later, I found out that my cancer will not require chemotherapy and most likely only a lumpectomy and hormone therapy. I’ll expand more on that in the next blog.

My hope for this blog is to keep everyone abreast (see what I did there?)  of the situation,   implement healthy lifestyle changes with y’all as my accountability partners, and share my story, so the next 35 year old that gets a surprise diagnosis maybe doesn’t feel alone.